All Good Things Come to an End

I once had a friend, craved a lifetime to spend
The one I wanted to protect, always armed to defend
But as we know, all good things come to an end
Leaving my heart broken, for someone to mend

I stand compromised, trying hard to forget
Painfully seeking help, trying not to regret
Reaching for a paper, writing goals to be set
Hopefully sticking to the plan, with nothing to fret

There’s always a great story behind every scar
Makes life interesting, at least thus far
Challenges accepted, to highly set the bar
While I rediscover and redefine who we are

Here and Now

I wish you could tell me what to do
When I can't get tired of saying I love you
But my sub-world don't want us to be
And I can't be me without thee

Tell me what to do, without you
Because that's one thing I don't want to do
It's hard to believe, and harder to become
But the cruel gets to be my rule of thumb

You? Me? Me and you.
That's all I need to get me through
There're my days I smile in the face of yours
And know, after that, must close all doors

I don't want to remember that I have to go
Because that will steal away all that I know
What I have come to know, here and now
Will always be, what I forever vow


P.S: I believe.

A Lifetime to Owe

Stuck to ask, “what do I do?”, “where do I go?”
Everytime disappointment strikes and drags me down low
I still seek answers within, but nothing yet to show
As I passively ride along, just going with the flow
Waiting for life to snooze, and untie its heavy bow
I freeze amidst my thoughts, breaking apart every column, every row
Seems like all my questions of yesterday, today and tomorrow
Have never come to cease, no matter how old I grow
Please don’t forget to remind me though
All that I may think, say, do or know
Will be archived and delivered wherever I decide to go
For sooner or later, my end will come, and deal me all that I owe

Who Am "I"?

There's a time where we start questioning all our surroundings, reevaluating our action plans and goals, and seeking proofs to define our reality. What is reality? What is normality? Who am "I"?

Who am I? I am defined by my society. I don't have the freedom to define who I am. I am shaped by the who, the what and the where. I am all that you and you and you and you are. I am because of you.

Yes, I have evolved and changed over the years as I changed my perspective of life. But why? Why did I change? What changed me?

You. Each and every one of you. Every heart-breaking, saddening, depressing, or empowering, epiphanous, enlightening moment I lived and experienced was memorable and influential.

This reminds me of a poem I wrote on June 19, 2008:


A Name, A Fingerprint, and A Smile

I will write you a letter,
To tell you how happy I am,
To tell you about my life: what I did and planning to do
To talk about my dreams and my accomplishments
I want to let you know of me,
The long way I took, and the way I am heading to.
So I reached to the paper and pen,
Wrote the title, the date and addressed it properly;
First word: Hi! Second word: ….
It was blank.
I don’t know who I am; I don’t know how far I got.
I acknowledge my past; I recognize I got somewhere, so called: The Present…
But what’s the catch? What’s different about me?
Just another name on the list? Another letter in a stack?
Another girl in a family? Another student in a university?
As far as I know I carved my name on the letter,
Stamped my fingerprint as my signature,
And sealed it with a smiley face…
That’s how far I got in knowing myself, but how far are you?



Note:

My name is a shallow code.

My fingerprint is what makes me the one and only me.

My smile is my memory of me to me and (hopefully) to you. "If you understand my smile, you'll understand me"

It Will be Okay

Tell me it will be okay, it will be alright
Even if it’s a lie, it will get me through the night
But soon enough, I’ll be back on track to set it all right
Maybe temporarily, until trouble comes back in sight

Once in a while, I may have gone astray
But it’s merely a wakeup call for me to find my way
Perseverance in its finest, has saved me today
To let my strength and determination defeat every fray

People may come and go, but fears may remain
Battles may be won and lost, but their cost may forever stain
Through every crust and trough, I savor my hope and its every grain
Maybe one day, I’ll find a detour to guide me back to the lane of sane

January 2, 2011

Red, White and Black

For a while I lost the sensible sense of my heart
I foresaw a horrible end, and forgot the beautiful start
I got used to portray its flaws and send back every shot
So, I smile at the memory and exile every correlative thought

I might have escaped one battle, but not the entire war
I reached up high, yet ended up strained on your floor
I broke away, far away, but I stored the key to your door
If I wanted to let go, what am I still stuck here for?

Yes, I’ve missed you; my feelings aren’t that hard to crack
We can survive if we try; but our love is red, white and black
You proved me wrong, but didn’t gain my trust back
Baby, it’s not what we only have; it’s what we surely lack

November 16, 2010
Cristel Moubarak

Broken Stone

I saw a lil kid, running around smiling, giddy and proud
I heard through her heart cries of laugher, broken but loud
It told me a secret to keep safe and sound
And bury my promises somewhere to never be found

Then on a gloomy day, I saw the reflection of eyes that resembled hers
And remembered my promise despite my memory’s failures and blurs
Is her vulnerable heart a still blessing of joy?
Or has it fallen for the world’s sins of decoy?
Her heart that has once spoken to me, told me the secrets of its existence
But why did she let her heart succumb to the scars of pain’s persistence?
Why did she let her tears become a whisper to her eyes down the isle of sorrow?
Why did she let her faith become a memory that her past had opted to borrow?
Why was her breath an attempt to her survival that had tended to furrow?
Why was her love a mystery to her own heart that has housed a metallic burrow?

I needed her; I need to apologize to have broken my vow
What I have known in the past, shattered me in the now
Only betrayed my lil girl, my one self, my own…
To find my once young, vulnerable heart grown to be broken stone

June 9, 2009